#31- Working Mom

I had a good run- 7 years I worked jobs that allowed me to have my children by my side and I loved every single minute of it. I am so grateful to my husband for providing us a home and for allowing me to be with our babes. But I was starting to put serious thought in to going back to work full time, and I was also rethinking my career path- a desk job, finally? My entire adult life has consisted of finger painting, water splashing, garden growing, story times, play dough, and conversations with little people. I loved it.

I miss it.

We moved back to the Sacramento Area recently. Being pulled from all the comforts of my working life in Pescadero is a surefire way to open back up the possibilities and opportunities I could happy ignore living in a remote farming town (since the opportunities didn’t exist much there anyway). I applied for jobs that were completely out of my realm, weighed my options and chose one offer that seemed challenging, and ultimately still in my field of work. Which, I didn’t think worked for my bucket list challenge #31: Work a job in a completely different field of interest. But, interestingly enough when I told a few of my friends that I was hired on as a

Social Worker, Amador County

the response was almost all the same: “Oh, I didn’t know you were interested in that?”

Huh? I’ve done nothing but advocate for children & youth, what do you mean you didn’t know?

And then I got to work.

This is really, really hard.

Most children we place in foster homes are really just fine for the most part. But there have been a few cases that… have given me nightmares. Literally. The other night I dreamt I started stashing children in my home, closing the blinds and locking the doors convinced that I would save them that way. The things I have heard, the eyes I have peered in to… My hope is to never run out of tears to shed for these children. The day I do is the day I quit.

I recently took a teen out to lunch for her 17th birthday. I’ve met with her several times and this was the first time I saw her smile, and it was the first time I heard “thank you.” I was asked why I went out of my way to treat her, given the rough treatment I’ve taken from this teen’s own mouth. It’s on each of us to prove to our youth that the world isn’t as bad as it seems. She’s not angry with me. ¬†She’s angry at the world and rightfully so.
I was trying to think of how to best document in pictures what I do, since so much of it is actually confidential. So, I am opting to post a ‘slideshow’ of sorts to show that it’s not all entirely depressing- ha! These were selfies I took of myself and texted to my co-worker in the next office over, during a phone call that lasted over an hour and a half and was rendered completely useless 3 days later when the caller sent me an email that said, “Nevermind what we discussed, change of plan!” *sigh* enjoy….