Reflection

A year has passed since the start of this Bucket List Quest. 13 months to be exact, and for those paying attention…. I allowed myself one more month to accomplish some tasks using the excuse that giving birth to a baby put me out of commission for at least a month so I needed at least that much more time to see what else I could still accomplish. For the record, I still plan on eventually tackling every task on my list and when I do I will blog it here, but some of those items will take time.

I started the project purposely because I felt 2012 started bad for me (literally, those first days I was miserable),I felt restless and knew I needed to put my mind to work to distract me.  Am I in a better place now having done this project?  To be completely honest, No. It served it’s purpose well.  I found myself distracted, at times consumed by accomplishing certain tasks.  Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun with many of the tasks.  I learned a ton with other tasks. I made new friends. Lost some friends. Sure, I grew from it.

I feel like there are many reasons why we feel the need to strive to be better or outdo ourselves and others. To compete and compare.  Find false or shortlived fulfillment in little jobs we take on.  Not to say that all that we do is out of vanity or whatnot.  But I found that for me, I was doing all these things and  not coming out on the other side feeling like I had truly made a positive change/impact in my life.  Was that the goal? I never stated it was the goal… but there were many little moments where I wanted that to be the goal.

So, a few people have asked what my project for 2013 will be.  I have mulled over this for quite some time. I had a few great ideas.  Some I liked a whole lot and even got started on when it turned January 1st.

But, I’ve changed my mind. Sort of.  I have a project. I’ve started it.  It’s every day and it’s exhausting.I am consciously aware of my project every day, every hour, sometimes every minute for hours on end.  Can you guess it?

My daughters.  I’m reinvesting my time and energy in to being a better mother.  Natalie & I together made our 2013 bucket list (Holly of course will tag along!).  So far, there are only 40 things on the list that is taped to her door.  I am no longer looking to be the best at working out, eating right, crafting something off Pinterest, hosting fabulous parties, baking a cake, drinking too much wine, having a fancy job or checking in at fancy restaurants or destination locations.  If any of that happens to fall in to place, great. If not… fuck it.  It’s not about that.  It’s about being the next Mom of the Year. Thank you everyone who followed along for my 2012.  My 2013 will be documented here:

http://www.ethoschild.wordpress.com

Here's to many more self-family-portraits!

Here’s to many more self-family-portraits!

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